For some odd reason, I researched dyslexia online.
My mom told me I was dyslexic when I was a child. According to her, I would go home from school crying that I couldn't read. It took me longer than other kids to learn to read, due to my condition.
I had thought that my difficulty in learning to read was the only side-effect of my condition. However, my research has shown that I have other conditions that are asymptomatic to dsylexia.
I have difficulty distinguishing right from left. I have bad short term memory but excellent long term memory (which makes sense considering how I find it so difficult to memorize provisions). I have difficulty with math. I have a lot of trouble with spelling and normally don't realize typographical errors in things i write. Dyslexics usually have improved spatial memory, which makes sense considering I have an excellent sense of direction. I have some difficulty speaking, I often stutter and sometimes mix up my syllables. Also, dyslexic people tend to have messy bedrooms (which i have) and have diffuclty tying shoelaces (which i do). I also tend to misread my words which is also a symptom.
Lastly, people with dyslexia often have a very tight writing grip (which i have) and have difficulty writing in a straight horizontal line (me!!)
So apparently, these little quirks of mine are there for a reason. Huh. Who would've thunk. The symptoms are so erring correct that it's almost spooky.
And despite all these, I'm supposed to be a lawyer one day? Huh. Good luck to me.
On the bright side, dyslexic people are supposedly very artistic. For instance, Ansel Adams (photography god), Leonardo di vinci and Van Gogh were all supposedly dyslexic.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Striving for more
I've realized something recently. For several months, I've thought I liked where I stand photography-wise. I thought I was close to being a professional-level photographer. I thought I was producing really good photos, but recently I've come to realize that I don't like a lot of my photos. I honestly don't like them. My photos feel very ordinary and this really isn't the direction I planned to take when I started to take this hobby seriously.
I think I need to be more edgy, more artistic and more high-fashion in my portraits.
Instead of feeling bad about this, though, I feel really, really inspired. I feel like I've been too comfortable with my work and this made me very boring and stagnant as a photographer.
Realizing I don't like my photos may be for the best, it might just help me grow as a photographer. Hopefully.
I think I need to be more edgy, more artistic and more high-fashion in my portraits.
Instead of feeling bad about this, though, I feel really, really inspired. I feel like I've been too comfortable with my work and this made me very boring and stagnant as a photographer.
Realizing I don't like my photos may be for the best, it might just help me grow as a photographer. Hopefully.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Movies I want to watch
1) Sweeney Todd - Johnny Depp!!! Need I say more? I lurve you, Mr. Depp!!!
2) There Will be Blood - featuring one of my big-screen crushes of old, Daniel Day Lewis! I missed him. Haven't watched a movie of his in a long time. Supposedly its a commanding performance that will most likely bag him an Oscar nomination.
3) Gone Baby Gone - I bought the DVD already. It is only a matter of time...
4) Control
5) Eastern Promises
6) The Assasination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
7) No Country for Old Men
8) Into the Wild
9) Michael Clayton
10) La Vie en Rose
___________________________________________________________
The last few months, I've really started getting a kick over watching movies alone in the cinemas. I really, really hope some of these movies make it over to Gateway.
2) There Will be Blood - featuring one of my big-screen crushes of old, Daniel Day Lewis! I missed him. Haven't watched a movie of his in a long time. Supposedly its a commanding performance that will most likely bag him an Oscar nomination.
3) Gone Baby Gone - I bought the DVD already. It is only a matter of time...
4) Control
5) Eastern Promises
6) The Assasination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
7) No Country for Old Men
8) Into the Wild
9) Michael Clayton
10) La Vie en Rose
___________________________________________________________
The last few months, I've really started getting a kick over watching movies alone in the cinemas. I really, really hope some of these movies make it over to Gateway.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Learning to Deal
So I thought I'd try this blog thing again. Why, you ask? Maybe because in light of recent catastrophes, it might be good to get things off my chest. It might be healthy even.
What's odd is that I personally don't feel really bad about it. Sure, it sucks. I'm still oddly happy about my life. I haven't always been, so that in itself is a great achievement.
I have great friends. Despite the "busy" workload, I still manage to watch my TV shows. My other grades last semester turned out surprisingly good. My photography thang is going great and I feel like I've been improving by leaps and bounds. My relationship with my parents is better than ever. So, aside from the fact that I failed evidence and that my external hard drive broke down (and took all my photos along with it), I don't really see anything to be sad about.
And when do I feel sad, I just give myself a couple of hours to cry it out. Give myself a crying deadline and then stop when my time is up. Then I hug my beloved stuffed penguin Penguini fiercely and think, "No matter what happens, come tears or defeat, things can't be so bad because my Penguini still loves me." Hehehe, pathetic, I know but it helps me get through it.
I'm really proud of myself. A little over a year ago, an event such as this would have sent me into a decline. I would have been depressed for days, even weeks. I would have used it as an excuse to cut school so I could stay at home and sulk. But now, I'm dealing with it. I stop feeling sorry for myself because I realize there are other things that i need to do. I don't climb into myself and stay there for weeks on end.
Awww, I think I'm finally growing up. Finally. Despite the fixation with stuffed animals.
What's odd is that I personally don't feel really bad about it. Sure, it sucks. I'm still oddly happy about my life. I haven't always been, so that in itself is a great achievement.
I have great friends. Despite the "busy" workload, I still manage to watch my TV shows. My other grades last semester turned out surprisingly good. My photography thang is going great and I feel like I've been improving by leaps and bounds. My relationship with my parents is better than ever. So, aside from the fact that I failed evidence and that my external hard drive broke down (and took all my photos along with it), I don't really see anything to be sad about.
And when do I feel sad, I just give myself a couple of hours to cry it out. Give myself a crying deadline and then stop when my time is up. Then I hug my beloved stuffed penguin Penguini fiercely and think, "No matter what happens, come tears or defeat, things can't be so bad because my Penguini still loves me." Hehehe, pathetic, I know but it helps me get through it.
I'm really proud of myself. A little over a year ago, an event such as this would have sent me into a decline. I would have been depressed for days, even weeks. I would have used it as an excuse to cut school so I could stay at home and sulk. But now, I'm dealing with it. I stop feeling sorry for myself because I realize there are other things that i need to do. I don't climb into myself and stay there for weeks on end.
Awww, I think I'm finally growing up. Finally. Despite the fixation with stuffed animals.
Sunday, June 3, 2007
After the first few pages of this Haruki Murakami book, I was hooked. I couldn't stop reading it. I was engrossed. Finished it rather quickly, but then, it's a rather short book.
This book is simple compared to his other books. No magic realism here. It's just a story of a man, a story his life and the choice that he must make. It's a simple book, yet beautiful in its simplicity.
I won't go into detail on the plot or themes of the story. I'll just say that:
It is a morality story, it's about letting go of past mistakes that we believe define us, moving on with your life and choosing to be happy.
A contemplation on obsession.
This is, in the final estimation, rather depressing because it's about letting go of the notion that life is a dream and instead facing reality.
I didn't find the protagonist very likable. He has a little too vain, and a bit of an asshole. But I empathize with him. He's an only child, like me, and I think a lot of his faults stem from this fact.
I found the writing very lyrical. The words used are very simple, but there's this dream-like aspect to it. As if every moment narrated in the book has such infinite beauty and meaning to it.
Anyway, it's a pretty good read. Not perfect, and probably not as good as his other books. But it's still a good read.
This book is simple compared to his other books. No magic realism here. It's just a story of a man, a story his life and the choice that he must make. It's a simple book, yet beautiful in its simplicity.
I won't go into detail on the plot or themes of the story. I'll just say that:
It is a morality story, it's about letting go of past mistakes that we believe define us, moving on with your life and choosing to be happy.
A contemplation on obsession.
This is, in the final estimation, rather depressing because it's about letting go of the notion that life is a dream and instead facing reality.
I didn't find the protagonist very likable. He has a little too vain, and a bit of an asshole. But I empathize with him. He's an only child, like me, and I think a lot of his faults stem from this fact.
I found the writing very lyrical. The words used are very simple, but there's this dream-like aspect to it. As if every moment narrated in the book has such infinite beauty and meaning to it.
Anyway, it's a pretty good read. Not perfect, and probably not as good as his other books. But it's still a good read.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Just A Thought
I often wish I could just quit law school, and be a wedding photographer instead. It might actually pay better.
My aunt abbie and I could make a wedding-service company. She can do the entourage's make-up, while I take the pictures.
My aunt abbie and I could make a wedding-service company. She can do the entourage's make-up, while I take the pictures.
One of those days
My mother and I had another one of our passive-aggressive fights.
Sigh.
The way my family acts sometimes makes me despair of growing older.
As young children, we are taught that with age comes maturity and wisdom. But sometimes, I doubt this. Is it possible that once we reach a certain age (Maybe twenty-something?) we've probably reached the treshhold of emotional maturity?
My mother still has a great number of insecurities. I had always thought that with time, one becomes more at peace with oneself. But my mother still bites my head off for saying phrases that make her feel inadequate.
She still bristles at the slightest suggestion that I might prefer or prioritize my relatives to her. I don't, not really, but she still unconsciously asks me to choose.
My relatives still bicker like little children, they still fight like little children who push and shove to get the best toys.
I have relatives who are still as emotionally needy as they were in their teens.
As a child, I thought with maturity one becomes more forgiving and patient. But my grandfather and father still aren't on speaking terms, and they haven't been for years.
As a child, I thought growing up meant being able to let the little things slide. But how could it be when so many little things are keeping my relatives apart?
I'm terrified of growing older, of looking at myself 20 years from now and realizing that I haven't emotionally grown, at all.
I'm terrified of having children, of having them look at me and realizing that I'm still the immature and insecure person I was at 22. I'm terrified of being mired in the kind of behavior so prevalent in my family, and of setting that kind of bad example to my children. I wouldn't want to raise a child in the same backbiting, petty environment I grew up in.
Sigh.
The way my family acts sometimes makes me despair of growing older.
As young children, we are taught that with age comes maturity and wisdom. But sometimes, I doubt this. Is it possible that once we reach a certain age (Maybe twenty-something?) we've probably reached the treshhold of emotional maturity?
My mother still has a great number of insecurities. I had always thought that with time, one becomes more at peace with oneself. But my mother still bites my head off for saying phrases that make her feel inadequate.
She still bristles at the slightest suggestion that I might prefer or prioritize my relatives to her. I don't, not really, but she still unconsciously asks me to choose.
My relatives still bicker like little children, they still fight like little children who push and shove to get the best toys.
I have relatives who are still as emotionally needy as they were in their teens.
As a child, I thought with maturity one becomes more forgiving and patient. But my grandfather and father still aren't on speaking terms, and they haven't been for years.
As a child, I thought growing up meant being able to let the little things slide. But how could it be when so many little things are keeping my relatives apart?
I'm terrified of growing older, of looking at myself 20 years from now and realizing that I haven't emotionally grown, at all.
I'm terrified of having children, of having them look at me and realizing that I'm still the immature and insecure person I was at 22. I'm terrified of being mired in the kind of behavior so prevalent in my family, and of setting that kind of bad example to my children. I wouldn't want to raise a child in the same backbiting, petty environment I grew up in.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
